My SE Journey

By Louise McDonnell, SEP General Assistant

I first encountered SE through my supervisor who is an SEP who then signposted me to an SE Therapist. This was a different way of receiving counselling for me. I could talk about trauma with clarity & compassion, yet my body reflected differently. Personally, I began to get a lot out of my sessions and I became curious regarding listening to my body in a deeper way! SE therapy taught me to turn towards those sensations, not as symptoms to fix but as signals from the body that longs for safety. The SE pace was much slower than I was used to. I felt a mix of curiosity and impatience. As I softened to the slowness, things began to reorganise internally.

Rather than the story of trauma, I learnt to stay with the sensation that arose when the stories surfaced...trembling hands, jerks, emotion, warmth, coldness, sudden exhale - release (not always in that order). SE taught me that healing is less about reliving the past but more of reclaiming the bodies innate capacity to complete what was once interrupted.

I learnt how to track sensations in my body in a slow, safe way. This brought self-awareness of how professionally, I often bypassed my own bodily cues in service of others to  appear “steady” or “professional”...also with my children or parents, overriding my nervous system in service of what I thought was love!

Professionally in my own practice, I have reflected many times over the years! I used a metaphor of clients’ issues like a flower: you could work on the flower, however the root always grew back eventually therefore the client re-returned. I personally and professionally feel that I have found that root in SE. This is what I had been looking for both personally and professionally. Yayyyy!

My 3 year journey in SE is one I will never forget. I made friends with the most amazing somaticors (nickname we made for ourselves). Our first module was online due to Covid which for me was great as I got to connect with people while learning again. It made it more special when we came together in person as a cohort. Realising people were actually small or tall, having a laugh about it. We had many births and deaths in our cohort in which I feel pulled us together even more. The assistant team I found fabulous and non judgmental.

I made it a goal in my learning to reach out to the assistants as I felt I was doing wrong when I got support (totally my stuff…good girl material). By doing this, I felt I would learn more by coming out of my comfort zone, leaning on the assistants when needed as I knew I couldn't do this real time with a client. After each module I was tired and learnt to give myself a couple of days when I came home to rest and digest the SE, allowing it to integrate. I found I was somatically changing...beginning a beautiful somatic relationship with my body. I had opened my ears to listen and communicate with my body. As I trained further, my sessions with clients began to shift. I noticed myself holding space differently, being less directive, more curious. I attuned for the small signs of regulation, softening of shoulders, spontaneous sigh, deeper breath etc.

SE changed my understanding of resilience. It isn't a cognitive insight or a set of coping strategies. It’s a physiological state. As therapists, we model regulation through our own embodied presence inviting clients into the nervous system to nervous system conversation that translates our words. As I specialise in working within our Deaf community using BSL, I was unsure how this would work, however I was surprised that due to the loss of their sense of hearing, their ability to listen to their bodies was remarkable. I work with Deaf/HOH/DeafBlind also hearing!

A Continuing Practice of Presence as a Somaticor

SE hasn't just changed how I work, it has changed how I live. I move through my day with more awareness of my internal landscape - the cues that tell me when I'm grounded or when I need to pause. For a fellow therapist who is interested in SE, I say go for it! SE is not just another technique for your belt like many other trainings...it is unique. I found it to be a practice of deep listening first to yourself, then to your clients! The body holds remarkable wisdom - when we create a safe place and the right conditions for it to speak, healing naturally unfolds.

My SE journey so far

I am an SE General Assistant now. I must say I love it. I get my 6-day SE retreat back in the beautiful Corrymeela plus the privilege of learning SE again. The wisdom of faculty, trainers, assistants & students is unbelievable & extremely supportive. Every module of SE I have done, including those I’ve assisted on, people have commented on the change in me which of course is lovely to hear!

I would love more Hoh or Deaf to become involved in SE. This is my personal mission. SE is simply part of my life and who I am now. I feel blessed when working with a client, witnessing the somatic changes - there are just too many words to describe it! Honestly, I could write about SE all week although it has taken me 2 years to write this blog!

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